The End

I will myself blind and deaf.
I will myself mute.
I will myself devoid
                           of all senses.
I will myself dead to the outside world.

But what good will this do,
      what purpose could it possibly serve,
                when I am still alive inside myself?
                                                 and filled with rage,
                                                                                 and tumult.

I will myself insane.

This is the logical end
                              for someone like me.
The only possible end.
A well-deserved end,

                                 I am sure.

February 4, 1997